Why can women be so critical? We can easily “X” another woman out before learning their name–before ever speaking to them and getting to know their heart. I can admit, I have done it time and time again. But why? Is it caused by jealousy, competition, or pure evilness? Does it happen because women do not understand their worth and project their self hate or dislike towards the next woman? Why is it so difficult to support one another? The goal of this post is to make you reflect on how supportive of other women you are ( or are not).
National Black Woman Heal Day 2015 is today, April 1. This event has been designed to help and support women, especially those who have a need for healing from sexual abuse. This topic is taboo and people run from the conversation. However, if we desire to build a community of support as a race or generally as women, we must acknowledge those that have suffered from sexual abuse and be willing to love and assist them in their journey of healing. Sexual abuse is an unfortunate occurrence and is a prevalent issue across the world. Sadly, many of the victims are blamed for the abuse they experience which does not allow the victim to get proper healing. One of the keys to healing for anyone of any circumstance is support, whether it is found in your family, friends, church group, coworkers, a role model, whomever.
How can we help to prevent sexual abuse in regards to minors? I believe making them aware of what inappropriate and unacceptable behavior towards them is. Also encouraging young girls to find someone they can trust and share what they are feeling or experiencing will aid to sexual abuse prevention or healing if they have already experienced the abuse.
Young girls who have positive role models early on will have a better understanding of who they are so they can grow into women who desire to support other women. The Eryn PiNK organization is a group of role models in Columbus, OH, of which I am a part of, whose goal is to empower young girls to embrace their girlhood by excelling in their classroom, having self-love and dealing with peer pressure. Creator of the organization, Eryn Hathaway believes young girls and teens need to understand their self worth and to know that, “Every hardship builds character and perseverance”. Young girls need support groups too. Eryn gives this advice to young girls who need some help in deciding who to include in their circle: “‘Birds of a father flock together’. Surround yourself with life-minded friends. People who are the same values, morals and goals as you because they will uplift you and hold you accountable. Do not feel alone; speak up and express your thoughts. Do not be ashamed to stand up for what you believe.
Questions to Ask Yourself
- Who is your circle of support?
- Who looks to you for support?
- Am I a good role model for young women?
- Do my children have good female role models?
- In what ways do you support your family and friends?
- What is the first thing you do when you have a challenging moment?
- How can I better support those around me?
As individuals, we need to allow ourselves to heal from whatever it is that hinders us from having a genuine love for everyone which in return will allow a community of strong and completely healed women to form and flourish. Make it a goal to uplift, to not give unwanted advice and give support through the many stages of the life of a woman. Today, build a community of support with women all over the nation who are saying yes to healing and love.
This blog post was created in partnership with the National Black Woman Heal Day 2015. All opinions are my own. For more information on how you can become a part of the Healing Collective of Black Women, please visit Lilada’s Livingroom at www.Lilada.org or contact them at BlackWomanHeal@gmail.com. For daily inspiration for healing, follow them on Twitter.