Why I Allow Name Calling in My Home

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Why I Allow Name Calling In My Home | MommyWifeLife

My daughters are 14 months a part in age. They are partners in crime and are rarely found playing without one another. They are rambunctious, are often loud, and sometimes choose to listen to directions.  Most days they cry big tears, induced by not getting their way or due to a small injury that could have been avoided if only they had listened.

I get headaches, burnout and often feel incredibly frustrated at the end of our days together. I mean, why is it so hard to follow directions? Although there are moments when I would rather lock myself in my bedroom and hide under my covers, I do my best to fairly discipline the girls when they choose to be disobedient. This includes calling them names–names that will make a difference in their behavior, such as:

You are obedient.

You are a big girl.

You are a good listener.

You are brave.

You are smart kid.

You are a good sister.

These aren’t the names you expected me to say, are they? The reason I allow this type of name calling in my home is because although things seem chaotic and as though I don’t have control of my kids, I am speaking over and into my children’s lives.

The behavior that my children exhibit don’t make them bad seeds. They are typical kids and my woes are typical woes of any parent.Want your children’s behavior to improve? Allow words to come from your mouth that describe the behavior (child) you want to see, who you know your child truly is and who they were created to be. Whether you want to believe in self-fulfilling prophecies or Proverbs 18:21, speaking positively into the atmosphere has been proven over and over to be effective. Each day, little by little, the behavior of my daughters gets better. As parents, we can make a choice to use damaging words and name calling or we can choose to speak life and positivity into our children’s minds and hearts, which will in turn encourage them to make better decisions and exhibit ideal behaviors.

Why I Allow Name Calling In My Home | MommyWifeLife

Our friend, Riley of Adventures of Riley Madison is also offering some affirmation through her new t-shirt line (pictured above), …I’m Smart, Too. We love the message the line sends which is why I’m sharing it with you.

Often, people see children and the first thing they compliment them on are their looks. Children do need to hear this, but we hope that these shirts will also remind people to affirm that they are so much more than how they look.

Children must be affirmed, through the words we speak, books they read, and even the clothes they wear. You can find more information about the new t-shirt line at www.adventuresofrileymadison.com.

What names do you call your children?

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  • Shekea

    I agree with you and the Word, wholeheartedly, Teri! Thank you for the example you’re setting. I do my best to do the same (and Lord knows I need to speak some life/encouragement into myself too). I repeatedly tell my daughter that she is full of each fruit of the Spirit (i.e., you are loving, you are gentle); that she is an encourager; that she has a heart for God; etcetera.

  • mommywifelife1

    I love that idea, Shekea, speaking that they are full of the fruit of the Spirit. There’s so much negativity and people that may come their way that will try to make them think differently, but I know that instilling these thoughts early on will help them see that negativity as lies.

  • Great post! The words we speak have so much power. I am happy to read that you weren’t talking about negative names. 🙂 It’s sad that we often think that the only way to change something is to focus on the negative behavior instead of speaking into existence the positive things which reside in all of us. I think I need to go call my girls some names. 🙂 Be blessed!